Creating wedding speech ideas that connect, encourage, and appreciate along with tips for speaking and avoiding common mistakes.

First, know this. There's a big reason for not using canned speeches. The fact that you're giving a maid of honor speech or best man toast indicates that you mean a lot to the bride or groom. That's an honor and deserves your best effort. Now, our purpose is not to make you feel more pressured, just to encourage you to put some effort into the speech because it is an important part of the evening.

The other very good reason for not using someone else's wedding speech ideas is that you have to give the speech. It has to sound like you. And if the toast or speech sounds like something you would say, it will be a lot easier for you to say it. And if, for whatever reason, you have to adapt the speech at the last minute, you'll have a much easier time improvising if the speech was yours from the beginning.

The ground rules for finding and using good wedding speech ideas.

First and foremost, go easy on the alcohol. There's nothing worse than an inebriated person that thinks they're entertaining and makes little or no sense. Any efforts you made at preparation will likely be lost and any ability to adapt to the moment will be reduced if you're not completely sober. Imagine a public figure giving a speech after a few drinks. That person would be a joke from then on. Out of respect for the bride, groom, and yourself, have your drink later. If this is a huge problem, ask someone else to do the speech and walk - no - run to the nearest AA meeting after the wedding.

Second, find your wedding speech ideas in advance. You're here doing that now so we'll take it from here.

Your goals are simple - connect with your audience, show appreciation for the bride, groom, or both while encouraging them and wishing them well.

This is easier than you think. Speakers and writers that connect with their audience don't necessarily have some great new thought process that others don't. They simply are able to give voice to the ideas that others have but cannot express. How can you easily do this? By using wedding speech ideas that incorporate common experiences.

An easy method is to start with a very brief story that shows the couple's kindness, love, or some other admirable quality. You tell stories to your friends all the time. This is the exact same thing, except it's with a microphone. I just did a short toast at a rehearsal dinner and it went something like this:

The first time I met Shane (my sister's new husband), two things happened. First, I called him over to ask him an innocent question. My sister ran over and positioned herself between me and him. I knew right then that she loved Shane more than her protective big brother. The second thing that happened was that he called me “Sir”. Right then, I knew that he was a good person. And since nobody else in the family has ever called me, “sir”, he's the most welcome person here tonight. I'm so glad he's a part of our family now. Welcome.(Raise your glass, toast, and that's all.)

Keep it short and sweet - you'll lose them if you're difficult to follow or long winded. Relate, compliment, and welcome. It's that simple. If you're a father giving a short speech for your son or daughter, you might throw in a touch of encouragement in there, too. Something like, “enjoy every minute, overlook any fault, laugh and love every chance you get” is a simple way to add that in without getting philosophical or too emotional.

To summarize when finding wedding speech ideas:

You'll connect with your audience automatically by telling a little anecdote or story that shows something nice about the couple/ bride/groom. Others know the couple or they wouldn't be there. Everyone wants to hear something nice. As long as they get that, you'll be fine. By doing this, you'll be showing appreciation for the bride and groom, too. A simple encouragement or wish for them is the icing on the cake and you're all done.

Wedding speech ideas for overcoming obstacles and the unexpected.

Forgetting your speech - avoid this by not rehearsing it as a word for word speech. Keep the bullet points in your mind. In the example above, this was all I tried to remember for my toast:

• two things - question and sir
• welcome to the family

I practiced it a few times to make it flow, but that's all I remembered and it went fine. If you try to remember word for word, nerves or emotion may kick in and throw you off.

Nerves - You'll be a little nervous because you're in front of others but there's an easy trick for that, too. Focus your eyes on the bride and groom. That's who you're talking to. Since you're close to them already, this makes it seem like you're just talking to your good friend.

Emotion - a little emotion is not bad. This is an emotional occasion. To avoid getting hopelessly locked up with emotion, you can use a story that won't get you too choked up or you can look above the bride or groom's head at whatever object is there. No one will notice and you'll be able to avoid the eye contact that might send you over the edge. Alternatively, practicing the speech a lot in advance will help you to feel less emotional about it, too.

Wedding speech ideas to avoid or use with care.

Humor - Be very careful with humorous wedding speech ideas. It's a rare person that has the ability to make everyone laugh without offending anyone. If in doubt, default to words of kindness. You can't go wrong there. But using humor is dangerous at best.

Stories - Only use stories that show kindness without embarrassment. This is their day and neither they, nor the audience, will appreciate an embarrassing comment. Again, default to kindness and you can't go wrong.

One final note: You don't have to feel a lot of pressure here because this day is about the bride and groom. It's not about, nor should it be, about you. Your goal is not to be remembered so much for a great speech as to remember the bride and groom for the great people that you know them to be. Keep the focus on giving them praise and encouragement and you'll automatically be seen as having done a nice job.