Wedding Ideas That Make Planning Fun

When you first start planning your wedding, it seems like the possibilities are endless. You can do this or that and go here or there and it's lots and lots of fun to dream and look at pictures. As you move into the real planning stage, reality enters in. There are budgets, timelines, availability issues, and other things that seem to limit the initial joy you had about all those possibilities. At this point there are two roads you can take. You can get frustrated and disappointed about the things you want to do but can't. Or, you can be creative, hopeful, excited, and grateful about the things you are able to do. It's easy to fall into the first trap. With all the pictures of great wedding ideas and stories of couples having the perfect wedding, it's easy to think you're missing out on something that everyone else is doing.

Dating is the same way. I remember nights when my wife and I were dating. We talked for hours about what we would do and where we would go. It was fun to dream about all the possibilities and look at pictures of the places we would visit. We've done some of those things and gone to some of those places. But as we go along, our options narrow. As in wedding planning, reality enters in. There are jobs, salaries, time constraints, budgets, kids, unplanned events, and things that can't be described as anything other than problems. As in wedding planning, there are two roads you can take when reality doesn't look like your dreams. You can get frustrated and disappointed or you can be thankful for what you do have and hopeful for the future.

There is a choice to be made in attitude, for sure. But that's not as easy as it sounds until you do something else. I'll get to that in a minute.

I'm telling this story because I heard a newlywed couple talking once and I felt sick to my stomach for them. The bride was talking about their timeline. They were going to do something for awhile so the husband could get some work experience in his field and then they were going to move to a different state at a prescribed time so she could pursue what she wanted. This is no big deal. It was just the way she said it. She said, "That's my move," when referring to the planned move. And "That's his move," when referring to their initial location. It didn't sound like the two had become one on their wedding day.

I don't know how they're doing today, but I hope their marriage is doing well. I do know this, though, after some years of marriage. Those dreams and pictures that I had in my own mind about our future life are quite different in reality. And, as I get older, I realize that I don't have nor did I ever really have much control over the path life takes. Along those lines, in a recent bout of self pity, I apologized to my wife for not delivering all the things I had promised her before we got married.

What she said to me made me remember why I could never get enough of her. She reminded me that I hadn't failed her because I didn't even exist anymore as a person separate from her. You see, we had decided to leave our individual selves at the altar that day when we got married. There was no more I, me, my, mine, you, or yours - just us.

It has been a lot easier this way. I don't spend time taking my own pulse, wondering if I'm happy or not. I just try to make sure that she's happy. If you asked her, she'd say the same thing. It makes going to work easier, mowing the lawn easier, paying bills easier, and all the other things that wouldn't normally be much fun. I don't have to worry about what other people are doing, just what she needs and what my kids need.

Now we got into this by talking about wedding planning and it still applies. As reality and problems set in, forget those original dreams and pictures. Neither was ever real in the first place. What's real is that you're about to share the greatest gift on the planet - a gift that's not available at any price - true love.

And when you get to that altar, leave yourself there and never look back. If you really do it, you'll find that those dreams of places you'd visit and things you'd do will give way to a real love that you never imagined or knew existed.

July 11, 2006 - Toiletry and Emergency Item Baskets in the Bathroom Can Help Every Guest to Feel Comfortable

When it comes to making a big difference with the small details, we think this is one of the best details of them all! Your guests may have traveled quite a distance to attend your wedding, and they want to make sure they are looking and feeling their best throughout the ceremony and reception. Along the way, your aunt may have gotten a snag in her pantyhose or your bridesmaid's hair might be falling down after running through the rain or wind to help you with your train as you arrived at your reception site. These are the occasions where a complimentary bathroom basket of essentials is especially appreciated.

For the women's powder room, consider including hand lotion, hairspray, bobby pins, safety pins, mouthwash or mints, a few bandages, clear finger nail polish (for pantyhose quick fixes), a nail file or two, aerosol deodorant, and a spot remover (like one of those new "pens" that take out stains on the spot). The men's room probably needs a little less - lotion, mouthwash, deodorant, a few of those cheap black combs, and a stain remover will probably suffice for the men. Put it into a decorative basket or container and include a little card like the one we made below on a home computer. We stamped the card with the same monogram stamp that appears on the ceremony programs and reception favor labels, just to carry the details throughout the event.

July 15, 2006 - Why use a self inking address stamp instead of a rubber stamp and a pad for your diy wedding projects?

When it comes to picking a stamp for your wedding stationery and decorations, there are some real good reasons to consider getting a self inking address stamp instead of a regular stamp and a pad. If you're like most people these days, you don't have tons of time on your hands to make do it yourself projects that look great. Even if you do have tons of time, you may not have the patience. I don't have enough of either so, realizing my limitations, I just work around them. This lack of time and patience is where self inking address stamps come in handy.

If you use a regular stamp and pad, you'll have to be really careful about ink smudges. There are several ways to do this - painting the ink onto the stamp, wiping excess ink off before application, or using felt as an ink pad - that can be time consuming and sometimes messy. It doesn't cost much extra to get a self inking stamp and the ink can last for 10,000 to 14,000 impressions so you'll definitely get enough use out of it. If you need more than that, you can replace the ink pad just like you would with a regular ink pad. And you can use different colored ink cartridges as well. In any case, even if you get the ink smudge problem taken care of, you'll still save lots of time with a self inking stamp. Using it is as simple as aligning it by using its built in features and pressing down - no ink smudges and no wasted time or paper.

The easier your stamp is to use, the more you'll want to use it. Plus, you won't have to worry about smudges wasting expensive stationery, tags, or whatever it is that you're using it on. For most people, saving time and money is enough reason to use self inking stamps. But even if that doesn't matter, you'll enjoy your project more if it's easy and looks great. That's worth considering, too.

July 16, 2006 - More do it yourself ideas for monogram or wedding logo embossers.

There are lots of uses for monogram embossers that are easy to see - invitations, place cards, save the date cards, and favor labels. With all the printable stationery out there these days, it's easier than ever to incorporate this wedding idea. But, there are other, less thought of uses for monogram embossers that help to make a big difference with the small details.

You can take plain beverage napkins and make them elegant by using your embosser. You can make an imprint all the way through all the layers, but it looks better if you do it differently. Just open the napkin so you're only pushing through two layers and you'll have a deeper, richer impression that requires less muscle to make. It looks great if you turn the napkin so its alignment is in the shape of a diamond. Then, emboss right in the corner and you'll have beverage napkins for your wedding reception that look more elegant than many printed napkins.

Great hotels often have an embossed seal on the toilet paper roll in the restroom. This idea may be a little bit over the top, but it will still look good.

Aluminum foil shows embossed impressions really well. If you're sending anything home with guests that might need a little aluminum foil, this is a fun trick to use.

Matchbox covers emboss well, too. Alternatively, self inking stamps with your monogram or logo would work for this idea as well.

We were thinking about embossing cupcake liners but haven't tried it yet. The paper should work well, but it remains to be seen if the logo would actually be seen by the person eating the cupcake. If anyone has tried this idea recently, let us know how it turned out.

July 23, 2006 - What to do if you want to use a unity candle but can't because of wind, rules, and so on.

If you're having an outdoor wedding, the traditional unity candle part of the ceremony may present problems. For example, a wedding ceremony on the beach rarely has the luxury of still wind conditions. Or if you're having an outdoor wedding at some other location, there may be prohibitions against open flame that would keep you from using the unity candle.

Not to worry. There are alternatives. Some couples use vases of some sort with colored water. The bride and groom each have a small vase with water of a different color. They then pour the water into a larger vase, creating a totally different color out of the combination of the two to symbolize the new creation when two become one in marriage.

There is a sand ceremony that is similar where the smaller vases held by the bride and groom each have sand of a different color. When they pour the sand into the larger vase, it looks best if each alternates a little at a time to create a layered effect of color that can be displayed in the home for a long time to come.

Traditionally, in unity candle ceremonies, the bride and groom blow out the smaller candles when they light the big candle. Some leave the smaller candles burning after lighting the big candle to signify some sort of individuality.

Right after I wrote my last blog about two becoming one in marriage, I heard a story about a couple that used the water ceremony but left some water in the smaller vases to symbolize that they were still individuals. Now, it may be that this was done without much thought. Nobody thinks much about it if the smaller candles remain burning with the traditional candle. But for some reason, with the water and sand ceremonies, something different happens - it really sticks out that there's sand or water left in the smaller vases. That's just food for thought. We 'll talk a little bit more about that in the next blog.

July 28, 2006 - What Does a Little Ceremony Have to Do With Marriage?

Standing at the altar, your family and friends choke back tears of joy while you wait for your beautiful bride to walk down the aisle. Seemingly floating down the aisle, she gracefully approaches, stunning and radiant in white. After the pastor says a few words, you approach the table for the unity part of the ceremony. Simultaneously whipping out contracts and pens, the two of you agree to a limited partnership, retaining a certain percentage of all things previously held (money, individuality, opinions, goals, expectations, wants, needs, and of course, self) in perpetuity or until the agreement is dissolved in legal fashion.

After signing, you display this refusal to become one in a glass case for the audience to see, lest they make the mistake of truly giving themselves up for the new entity that marriage demands - two becoming one. Outside, divorce lawyers circle, throwing confetti as you leave that has a discount offer for legal services printed on the reverse side. You put one in your back pocket, next to your prenup, just in case.

Not very romantic, is it? Not very much like true love or any of those other things that transcend the normal human behavior pattern that marriage represents. Nobody does that, though. No, I haven't seen anything like this yet. But I've seen the seeds of it.

In the last blog, I mentioned that the sand ceremony and the water ceremony alternatives to the traditional unity candle ceremony really show it if you leave sand or water in the smaller vase to signify retaining your individuality. It's a little bit of a rejection of what marriage means and requires - forsaking self for the sake of the other - for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, and all of that.

Anyone who has a successful marriage will tell you that life takes a different course when decisions are determined by the needs of others (husbands, wives, children, etc.). To the single person, this can be scary. You've had goals since childhood that could get delayed or permanently put off for things that are out of your control. I remember having the same thoughts and fears before marriage. Then something happened. I got married.

Learning what people that have been successfully married have known for years, I eventually lost all of those fears. Being a part of the happiness and success of someone else is more rewarding than anything I ever did or achieved for myself. I never made myself happy for long while serving self. I always needed more - more money, more leisure time, more trips to cool places, just more of everything.

But even at that, there is a danger. Even now, if I were to start insisting on my own way, needs, wants, individuality, money, and all of that, my marriage would probably unravel. It would be a slow process, not necessarily noticeable right away. But it would take its toll. I would be left with a shell of a marriage not nurtured by real love - which is a verb first and a feeling second. But if I continue to put myself aside for the sake of us and our kids, our love will keep growing stronger every day.

Please don't think I'm trying to take some sort of high ground, looking down on those that don't do this. My goal is quite the opposite - to make sure you find the true love that both of you deserve. I think there's a lot of bad info out there. It sounds enlightened and noble to say that the couple is retaining individuality while marrying, but it doesn't work in reality.

Rarely will you find a person that regrets having shown kindness, loving, or sacrificing for another person. Rarely will you find a person that honestly says divorce was a pleasant experience that they'd be happy to repeat. So what's left? Forget what anyone else says. Two are stronger than one. Ironically, you'll find that you become twice the person you ever were if you forget about your own individuality and focus on what the two of you will become together. Are there guarantees? Absolutely not. But what does that matter? You've decided to get married. So jump in with both feet and do your absolute best to make it work - that's all anyone can do or ask. Ironically again, unless circumstances work out perfectly, your marriage doesn't have much of a chance if you don't. On your wedding day, pour all that sand or water into the vase together and find out what it's like when two truly become one. You'll never know if you don't.