Wedding Ideas That Make Planning Fun

There are a lot of people out there in everyday America that would never consider using a hotel for their wedding reception. They assume it's too expensive and so they rent a local hall in town - an American Legion Hall, community civic center, or something like that - and have it there. This is all fine and good. I'm not about to knock this type of thing but I will try to dispel a few myths.

The truth is, my wife and I almost ruled out hotels because of the same kind of logic. What made us check into the idea was that we didn't want family members to spend a lot of time decorating or cleaning up and all of that. We just wanted to have everybody enjoy the wedding. An added benefit was that we would stay a little bit more in control. In other words, there wouldn't be any relatives bringing in any last minute surprises when it came to decorating time. I could just imagine the awkward situation as I explained oh so gently to the well meaning relative that we just wouldn't be using the handmade bride and groom piñatas emblazoned in our wedding colors…a unique touch, but just not a part of the theme. Needless to say, this was a big motivation for our search as well.

Anyway, we got a couple of surprises as we looked into this idea. And, as we've helped other relatives plan weddings, we've confirmed a simple fact. A wedding in a nice hotel can be just as inexpensive as one in a town hall. Not only that, there's more. A wedding reception in a hotel has a lot of advantages:

• Hotel lobbies and common areas are already set up to encourage relaxed mingling. This is what they want for their customers all day every day - and that's good for your group, too.
• Hotels do the setup and cleaning for you.
• Hotels tend to include a lot of things in the fee for the reception. We found that community halls often have a cheap room rental fee, but then charge you for every little thing from silverware and napkins to table linens, to staffing fees, and so on. Hotels are charging you for this, too, but it's all wrapped up in the price. To make a fair comparison, you've got to add in all the little extras for which the rental halls charge.
• A good hotel has an expert staff that has done a lot of weddings and events. They know what works, what doesn't, what costs, and what doesn't.
• Hotels have a system. They have a single contact that you talk to. From there, you simply refer your vendors to that person. That person will coordinate that stuff for you with ease. If you go to a town hall, you're usually on your own or you have to use the few vendors that are familiar with the place to avoid the hassle of coordinating everything for them. My wife and I lived in different state than where our wedding was held, so the ease of one contact person and not having to coordinate everything on our own saved us a lot of extra phone calls, pre-wedding visits, and stress.
• Along those lines, hotels are open 24 hours a day. Their contact person for events is easily reachable. If you go to a town hall, chances are you'll have a lot more difficulty tracking down the right person at the right time. They rarely have a full time staff person just waiting for you or your wedding vendor to call.
• Hotels have lots of parking - important! And often offer valet for those guests who prefer not to self-park.
• Hotels are hotels. Why is this important? For two reasons:
  One - They'll give you a good rate on rooms and you, your family, bridal party or whoever else can all stay together. This makes preparing and visiting a lot easier.
  
  Two - No one should drive after drinking anything at all and having a room within an elevator ride from the reception will make it easier to help your guests make the right decision. This is a huge advantage.
  
  Cakes, cooking, and cleaning are usually handled right there by the hotel as part of your package.

There are more reasons than these but you get the idea. Once you add the extra expenses a rental hall charges plus the hassle factor of coordinating, setting up, decorating, and cleaning you'll see that somewhere out there lies a hotel that can do a comparable job for the same or less and definitely for a lot less hassle.

You may get a little resistance from your family (especially if you come from a small town where everybody has their reception in the local rental hall) and maybe even a little less financial support for the concept until you convince them of the merits of the idea. But that's no reason not to try. And if you have a town hall that does a good job and doesn't have these issues - enjoy it with confidence. But if you're not so sure, do a little research and you'll find what we did - that a hotel is a no hassle way to have a wedding reception that everyone in the family can relax and enjoy.

June 14, 2006 - A Few More Thoughts on Charitable Giving and Weddings

I'll never forget it. We were with the sales manager at the hotel where we were going to have our reception finalizing the details of our wedding night. Before we had arrived, we had carefully calculated how much we could charge to each of our credit cards to come up with the amount we needed to cover the hotel's fee. I don't remember how much it was, but I know we paid something close to $20,000 between the two of us for wedding related expenses and the hotel was a big chunk of that.

As I handed over each card, my chest tightened, my head spun, and my stomach climbed up into my throat in a vain attempt to leave this body that was making such questionable decisions. When you do something like this, you know deep down that it's a bad idea but you do it anyway because bigger things are at stake. After all, you only get married once (hopefully) and you want to do it right. Plus, as a guy, you've just made promises to your wife to be that you'll take care of her and make her dreams come true. You've just promised her the world and a big part of you doesn't want to deny her anything, especially on her wedding day.

I had already left a job with great pay but an irregular schedule and severely excessive time away from home for a job with approximately a third of the pay but lots of time at home and a predictable schedule. Needless to say, I was not in a position to be overspending on anything.

Hopefully, this is making some of you feel better. For most people getting married for the first time, a wedding is a financial obstacle. If you're like we were, you're at an early stage in your career (not making the money you'll ultimately make), one of you may be in or just finishing college or grad school, you may be paying student loans that cost twice as much as your parents paid for their home, you're setting up life with a larger apartment or home for the two of you, and all the stuff that goes with that. For the first time, you're spending your money on things like insurance, furniture, and lawnmowers instead of pizza and nights on the town.

Because our generation has had an increasingly difficult time finding a career job near the places where we grew up, family help has been harder to come by when it comes to softening the financial blow of getting started in life. What's the bottom line? It's tough out there. Why does it matter? Well, I just read another in the steady stream of articles on charitable giving that are in the bridal magazines these days. I don't know why, but I felt a little guilt trip coming on because I had spent money that I didn't have on our wedding and certainly didn't contribute to any charity during the course of the events. But as I thought about it, I felt better.

Even though my wedding was sponsored by Visa, Mastercard, Discover, and any other card I had that had an available balance at the time, I wouldn't have been able to give to a charity. Like most other people at this stage of life, my wife and I had just enough to get by on our own at the time. This is why wedding gifts consist of the basics you need in life - blenders, silverware, and all of that. If you're wealthy enough to have all you need or old enough to have been established in life for a long time by the time your wedding day arrives, then by all means consider charitable giving. But if you're just getting started in life, accept your gifts with grace and don't feel guilty about not being able to give.

Your time will come. You're taking an incredible step of responsibility in this life by promising to give anything and everything for someone you love. If that's not an example of caring and giving, I don't know what is.